Title: Bjarne Stoustrup's Fiver

Back in the mists, when I first started programming it quickly became apparent that the bulk of the tools I used everyday were invented or written about by Brian Kernighan. I was making my living on the back of the work of many people, but Brian's contribution to my take-home pay seemed the most significant. I developed the idea of Brian Kernighan's Fiver. If I ever met Brian Kernighan, I'd give him five pounds as a symbol of the living he'd given me.

As time went by Brian's everyday significance declined, and his place in my little pantheon of thanks was taken by Bjarne Stroustrup. I decided that should I ever meet him, I'd give him a fiver too.

Last Thursday, that opportunity finally arose. There I was in the bar. There he was. I had a fiver in my wallet. A normal fiver, not a special one I'd been keeping or anything like that. Just an everyday five pound note.

Bjarne was talking to Cope, among others, and frankly Cope rather frightens me so I was loathe to interrupt. After 20 minutes or so, he got up to leave. He was going to walk right past me. Fate was lifting her skirts and taunting me. I had to do it.

"Dr Stroustrup? ..." Quickly, I explained about the fiver, and offered it to him. He declined. "I'm going to have dinner with my wife," he continued, "perhaps we could use this buy a drink later on."

A drink with Bjarne Stroustrup? Blimey. But, hang on. We're in the bar of the Randolph Hotel in Oxford, seemingly one of the most expensive bars on the planet. A fiver here doesn't go far. Then it hit me - a fiver wasn't enough. Bjarne's trying to tap me for a tenner!

The disappointing end of the story is that I didn't get to buy that drink, because our bar trajectories didn't cross again. I used the fiver on car parking. Bjarne no doubt thinks I'm a nutter.

A stingy nutter at that.